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SPECIALIST BLOG TOUR ~ Baby Game by Andie M Long

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THE BABY GAME

BY ANDIE M LONG

SPECIALIST BLOG TOUR BY FRANCESSCA’S PR & DESIGNS

SPECIAL BLOG TOUR EVENT CLICK HERE

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The next installment in the bestselling Alpha Series.

The Baby Game

Ronnie Taylor and husband Harry had agreed they’d wait a few years until starting a family. So when Ronnie discovers she’s pregnant after being a bit too casual with her contraception, she finds herself in a dilemma. Harry is taking his mother on the trip of a lifetime at the same time as their bundle of joy is due. If she tells him, he’ll cancel the trip and she doesn’t want his mother to miss out.

In typical Ronnie style, she ropes in TV Researcher and friend Nina, and pretends she’s filming a reality show about eating junk food. She’s going to blame all her baby weight gain on burgers. Surely she can’t get away with it? Or can she..?

With cravings for dog food, a mission to match-make her midwife and a never-to-be forgotten speech for a Healthy Eating charity event, it’s another hilarious adventure with the loveable, crazy ‘ladygardener’.

 

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An extra special chapter written exclusively for the Baby Game Blog Tour by Andie M. Long.

This scene takes place in New York after the birth of Stella and Gabe’s second child.

When babysitting goes crap.

“Can we ask you a huge favour?” Gabe comes walking into the lounge wearing the appearance of parents of newborns. His face weary and ashen.
“Sure. Ask away,” I reply.
“Do you think you and Harry could look after Zander for a couple of hours this afternoon? It’s just I feel that Athena’s feeling a little left out and we could use some fresh air and peace. We thought we’d take her to Central Park Zoo. While you’re here, you could enjoy extra special baby cuddles.” Gabe leans into the crib and strokes the side of his newborn son’s face.
“Well, how could I resist baby cuddles?” I smile. I glance at Harry who nods his head.
“Yes, we’ll do it.” I tell Gabe. “You go get ice creams at the zoo and spoil my little girl.”
“God that sounds nice, being spoiled.” Stella raises her head up from where it’s been resting on a sofa cushion. She’s been dozing at the side of the crib for the last couple of hours after Zander stayed awake most of the night. He is of course, now sleeping soundly in the daytime.
“I was talking about Athena, not you.” I retort.
“Figures.” Stella rolls her eyes. “Right I’m going to pop in the shower to try and wake myself up and then we’ll get going. Oh, Gabe let’s have lunch out too.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll get Athena ready,” adds Gabe. “Will you two be alright with Zander for a bit?”
“Well, let’s hope so seeing as you’re leaving him with us all afternoon.” I shoo them out of the room.
“You’ll have to do the nappies, I’ll puke.” Says my husband.
“You’re so pathetic.” I push his arm. “You are so doing a nappy and I’m going to video you doing it.”
“How come it doesn’t bother you?”
“I’m always dealing with cat and dog shit in gardens. You get used to it after a while.” I’ve also had to have a blood test for toxoplasmosis as their faecal matter can affect embryos and cause potential blindness but of course I can’t tell my husband that.
Later, we say goodbye to Gabe, Stella and Athena and return to the lounge. The room is bathed in sunlight, one curtain drawn across to shade Zander. He looks like an angel, with his little chubby cheeks and contented face.
Harry and I spend the next thirty minutes making out on the sofa as Zander continues to sleep. Then Harry utters the words that change everything.
“Piece of piss this baby lark isn’t it? I can’t understand what people moan about.”
I try to place my hands over his mouth but it’s too late, the words have been ejected into the world, where the forces of nature are about to laugh at us from a great height. As Harry knocks my hands away from his mouth asking me what I’m doing, he jolts the end of the crib.
“Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.”
I get up and stand over the crib and stroke Zander’s nose like I’ve seen Stella do. It does nothing. In fact his little face scrunches up and gets red. I reach into the crib and pick him up.
“Shh Zee, it’s Auntie Ronnie. It’s all okay. Shh.” I rock him in my arms.
Zander settles in my arms, so I quit the rocking.
“Don’t stop,” shouts Harry.
My eyes widen, “Why not? What’s wrong?” I panic.
“Nothing. I’m watching your boobs jiggle about, it’s fucking awesome.”
He gets a dirty look for that remark and not an encouraging one.
I attempt to lay Zander back in his crib but he’s having none of it.
“Do you think he’s hungry?” I ask Harry.
“I don’t know. Shall I warm up a bottle to see?”
“Yeah. Go on.”
Zander was indeed hungry and guzzles his bottle down in what seems like nanoseconds. After I wind him he seems quite settled in my arms. I’m not really keen on trying to put him back down in his crib when he’s settled but Harry’s nuzzling my neck. He’s obviously got the horn on and wants a bit of attention himself.
“Harry, pack it in.”
“I’m trying to.”
Suddenly Zander’s face goes puce again.
“What’s happening to him Harry? Something’s wrong.”
That something reveals itself as a massive fart.
“Oh my God, that absolutely reeks,” says Harry making gipping noises. “I’ll tidy this bottle away in the kitchen.”
“No you will not. You’ll put the baby changing mat on the floor and check if Zander’s made a deposit.”
“Ron, I can’t change a nappy. You know what I’m like with smells.”
“What about when we have a kid?” I ask him.
“I’ll employ a nappy changer.”
The trouble is he’s probably not kidding.
“Come on. Common cognitive behavioural therapy approach required. Aversion therapy. The best way to get over it is to do it.”
“I don’t want to know how you’re an expert in CBT.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I was given a course as part of treatment for my apparent stalking. Not aversion therapy, just training in impulse control.”
“And how’s that worked for you?”
“My impulse was to get a crush on the Therapist. He signed me off if I promised not to visit him at home again.”
Harry shakes his head.
“Anyway.” I place a stinking Zander on the mat. “Crack on. I’ll walk you through it.”
I look at little Zander on the mat. He’s so very tiny. I can’t believe we will have one of our own soon.
“Take off his bottoms and then undo the poppers at the bottom of his bodysuit.”
As Harry removes the little leggings I can see that the leg holes of his body suit are a mustard colour. Harry notices and winces.
“Jesus, has he been rolling in piccalilli?” Harry turns to me looking like a man who’s been told to go on a lifesaving mission from which he may never return. “Are there any gloves?”
“No, there are the baby wipes if you get any on your hands. Get on with it, poor little guys miserable.”
Harry carefully undoes the poppers and takes off Zander’s bodysuit after I tell him we must put him a new one on. As he lifts it he smears poo on Zander’s head. “Hang on mate, I’ll get that off with a wipe,” he informs the newborn. “I’ll take your nappy off first.”
There’s not that much poo in the nappy to be honest. Just a yellowy spray of liquid. It’s spread itself around the nappy. As Harry puts the nappy to one side and reaches over for a wipe, Zander’s foot touches his bottom smearing shit on the mat. His hands excitedly pump and before the wipe is in Harry’s hand, Zander also has it on his hand and the side of his mouth.
“Oh Christ.”
Harry leans over Zander and wipes first his face, then his hand. “Hey little guy, it’s not so bad is it? Uncle Harry will clean you up.” Harry grabs Zanders other hand and lifts it to his lips and kisses it. Unfortunately what Harry hadn’t realised is that while he was cleaning him, Zanders other hand had touched his dirty bottom.
“Arrrgggh. Oh my God, I have shit in my mouth. I repeat I have baby shit in my mouth.”
I really do want to help, but I’m videoing and far too busy being in hysterics.
“Harry you can’t abandon the baby, you’re going to have to wait. Just rub a wipe across your face for now and clean Zander up.”
Harry takes a deep breath, grabs a handful of baby wipes and starts again. He wipes Zander’s other hand, his feet and finally his poo covered bottom. Then he lifts up his legs and wipes the mat underneath him.
“I did it. Oh my God, I actually did it.” Harry turns to me. “I survived a nappy change.” He leans over Zander. “Hiya gorgeous guy. How’s it feel to be all clean, hey?”
Zander answers by spraying my husband in urine.

When Gabe and Stella return home and come into the lounge, they both raise an eyebrow at the fact my husband is shirtless while their baby sleeps away in his crib.
“It’s not what you think.” Answers Harry.
“Well you can fill us in on your afternoon in a mo,” says Stella. “I’ve brought you a treat from the cafe at the park. I’ll get some plates.”
“Oh, what is it?” I ask, realising I’m ready for something to eat and drink.
“Toffee and banana mousse. It’s their speciality.” Stella takes the lid off the box.
Harry and myself peer into the box and catch sight of the light yellowy-brown mousse.
“Thanks so much but I think we’ll give it a miss Stella,” says Harry, gulping and trying his very best not to heave.
 


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About The Author

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Andie M. Long is author of The Alpha series which includes Amazon Number One Erotic Thriller The Alphabet Game; Co-writer of the Amazon Number One Erotic Romance/Adult fiction bestseller The Bunk Up with DH Sidebottom and The Ball Games series, amongst others.
She lives in Sheffield with her son and long suffering partner.
When not being partner, mother, employee or writer she can usually be found on Facebook or walking her whippet, Bella.
Andie will be signing in Liverpool and Newcastle 2017 and York 2018.

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RELEASE BLITZ ~ Snow Balls by Andie M Long

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Book: Snow Balls
Series: Ball Games #2
Author: Andie M. Long

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Hosted By:Francessca’s Romance Reviews

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Synopsis

Tyler Turner has lived at home in comfort since birth.
It’s Christmas Day and his twenty-fifth birthday and he’s just about to open his money gift from his parents ..

Dear son,
You are dear to our hearts and we love you. Happy twenty-fifth birthday. However as previously forewarned it’s time to stand on your own two feet. Please take this letter as your Eviction Notice. You have three months until the twenty-fifth of March to secure new accommodation for yourself. Obviously if you decide to purchase, rather than rent, then as long as we can see the sale proceeding, the date of eviction can be lengthened accordingly. We, your parents will assist with this as much as possible. If you would like us to accompany you to look at properties or help you get a mortgage, you only have to ask.  The cheque should cover you for a month or two’s rent or contribute towards legal fees. We look forward to watching you on your next adventure as an adult.
Much love, Mum and Dad.

As Tyler gets over the shock it becomes a competition between Tyler and his mother Dora as to whether he’ll stay or go. Friend Lindsay is on hand to help him until the offer of a promotion means she may be leaving too. Will Tyler grow up in time to make the right choices or will Jennifer Lambert and his gaming equipment continue to distract him?

*Complete with British/Yorkshire slang guide as an added bonus to teach you some new rude words 😉


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Early Feedback

After reading the excerpt of this book at the end of Balls I knew I would love Tyler’s story and it didn’t disappoint I spent a lovely afternoon with the Turner family loving every word. ~ Our Kindle Konfessions

I’m in love with this novella series and think Andie is onto a complete winner here. I absolutely adore the characters and their witty, British style and slang. ~ Author Beth Ashworth

Andie is slowly making me a Novella convertee, this story was the perfect length to capture Tyler’s story and I adored it from start to finish. ~ Gemma Reads Too Much

Clever, witty, funny and the language used was just so good. Such light and easy reading to help us forget about the strife’s in life; I wish more books were like this. ~ Blissfully Bookerised

 


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About The Author

Andie M. Long is the author of The Alphabet Game series, Underneath and Quickies. When not writing she can usually be found time wasting on social media. If you ever see her doing housework, step away. It means she’s stressed! Prepare to meet the Turner Family in the Ball Games series in 2016 plus other works in progress.

You can stalk Andie Here:

Mailing List
Website
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RELEASE BLITZ ~ Balls by Andie M Long

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Book: BALLS
Series: Ball Games #1
Author: Andie M.Long

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Hosted By:Francessca’s Romance Reviews

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Synopsis

Camille Turner has returned to her home town of Rotherham to open her new business, a childrens play centre. She said she left to pursue her education but in reality she was driven away by the antics of fellow pupil Dylan Ball, whose parting shot, a photo of Camille in tight shorts, earned her the nickname Camille Toe.
After swearing revenge as she left the school gates behind her, Camille is reunited with a now older and apologetic Dylan who wants to be friends. She’d tell him to go to Hell but he does genuinely seem sorry. Plus he’s also matured into one sexy male. It’s so unfair.
But does Dylan really want to be friends or is it all an act to embarrass her once again?

Includes a Yorkshire/British glossary to teach you some rude slang 😉

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Purchase Links

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Early Feedback

As much as I love books set in the US there’s something familiar about a book set in the UK it’s like that could be me, that could be my life and the humour there’s nothing quite like the British humour and this book had me laughing out loud. ~ Our Kindle Konfessions

Loved it! Such fun. Dylan *sigh* #teamballs ~ Surrender To Books

Omg I bloody loved this! Novellas are always hit and miss but this went out of the park. Absolutely brilliant. ~ Goodreads Review

Everything about this Novella worked, the banter between Camille and Dylan was both funny and sexy. The sibling bickering between Camille and Tyler was bloody genius and Camille’s mom was brilliant!!
~ Gemma Reads Too Much



About The Author

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Andie M. Long is the author of The Alphabet Game series, Underneath and Quickies. When not writing she can usually be found time wasting on social media. If you ever see her doing housework, step away. It means she’s stressed! Prepare to meet the Turner Family in the Ball Games series in 2016 plus other works in progress.

You can stalk Andie Here:

Website
Mailing List
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FREEBIE & SALE UPDATE ~ The Alphabet Series by Andie M Long

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Book: The Alphabet Game
The complete Series
Author: Andie M Long

Hosted By: Francessca’s Romance Reviews


 

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Synopsis:

Get the Erotic Romance Short Story series now all in one addictive edition, THE ALPHABET GAME, the complete series: A TO X, Y, Z.

A to E. Stella Mulroney is playing a game. It’s taken her two years but she finally has an interview at Gregory & Sons, the top London law firm that looks after her stepfather’s interests. She plans to discover what her Multi-millionaire Stepdaddy really invests in and bring him down. Unwittingly, she’s caught the attention of Hot Alpha Gabriel ‘Gabe’ Gregory, son of her Stepfather’s top Lawyer. He wants to know why Stella has such a need for revenge and would prefer her to channel that fury into a game of his own, ‘The Alphabet Game’. After all, his is much more fun to play …

F to K: Stella Mulroney had been getting an education, with Lawyer Gabe Gregory teaching her The Alphabet Game, a sexual exploration from A through to Z, so she could infiltrate the sex clubs owned by her stepfather. After the restaurant debacle, Stella now has more to learn. Can Gabe be trusted, or is her stepfather no longer the enemy? Stella hires a Private Investigator to help her track down her stepsister Isabel, who might hold some of the answers. Or then again, maybe Isabel has secrets of her own …

L to R: As Stella starts work at The Rodeo, the New York sex club owned by her stepfather and Gabe’s dad; Gabe himself reels from the secret his mother kept from him for years. The Alphabet Game continues, but is it still about the sex or are deeper feelings emerging? Stella finally uncovers a lead in her quest for revenge. However Arnie Gregory isn’t so keen for his secrets to be revealed and Stella is about to find out what happens when he’s crossed …

S to X, Y, Z: It’s the end of the games. The sexual alphabet is coming to a close and Stella has a test to take. Arnie Gregory has been pushed too far and the revenge plan becomes a fight for survival that not everyone around Stella can win. Her stepfather, Mitch Daniels shows his true colours and there’s someone else who hasn’t been totally honest about who they are. With fame for some and infamy for others, The Alphabet Game ends with a kiss …

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OTHER BOOKS ON OFFER!

The Calendar Game
99c/99p

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Amazon UK
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The Alphabet Wedding
99c/99p

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Amazon UK
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About The Author

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Author of The Alpha Series: The Alphabet Game, The Calendar Game and The Alphabet Wedding, plus Underneath and Quickies.

Andie is a mum of one from Sheffield, UK, who desperately tries to juggle the day job, motherhood, writing, gardening and her other obsessions. She has a long suffering partner.

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