THE ANTI-HONEYMOON

by Bethany Michaels

Publication Date: March 16, 2020
Genres: Adult, Entangled: Lovestruck, Contemporary, Romance, Romantic Comedy

SYNOPSIS

No groom? No Problem.

When her fiancé tries to turn their wedding into a publicity stunt, Jenna ditches the nuptials—and the groom she shouldn’t have been with in the first place—and skips straight to the honeymoon. The getaway driver, her ex-fiancé’s former business partner, Zach, is the perfect guy to help reshape her romantic newlywed itinerary into an anti-couple, anti-romance, anti-honeymoon adventure for two.

They trade couples yoga for kickboxing lessons. Five-star dining on the beach for pizza and beer at a dive bar. Forget couples massage—Jenna’s getting that tattoo she’s always wanted, and dares Zach to get one, too. And those naughty boudoir pics she took in place of romantic sunset snaps? Those aren’t going in anyone’s wedding album. Not that Zach will forget them anytime soon.

As each item on Jenna’s anti-couples list is checked off, the anti-honeymoon with Zach feels more and more like the real thing, and she wishes the list was just a little bit longer…and even steamier.

EXCERPT

“This ain’t your mama’s bingo,” Jenna said. “Unless she works in the adult film industry.”

Zach took the card from her. “On the beach,” he read. “In a boat. In the shower.” At that, he got a grin on his face and looked at Jenna. She knew exactly what he was remembering.

“I think these are sex locations,” she said. “But, on a washing machine?”

Zach looked thoughtful for a moment. “Yeah I could see that.”

There were some squares with silhouettes of people enjoying themselves in different positions, too.

“Hmmm. That one looks familiar,” Zach said, pointing to one.

“Five more minutes, lovers, and then we start. Get your bingo chips ready,” an overly animated woman said over a portable PA system from the front of the room. Some tables had been pushed aside to make room for a bingo board and a two bingo ball cages.

Jenna rolled her eyes and set the card aside. “No thanks,” she said under her breath.

“Chicken,” he asked, a naughty glint in his eye.

“Not a chance,” Jenna said. “I just don’t want to play.” She studied the menu intently trying to ignore the sexy man across the table from her, who was at that very moment imaging doing her on a washing machine. How would that even be possible?

“It’s okay.” He set down the card and picked up the menu. “I get it.”

“What do you get?”

“That. You. Are. A. Chicken.”

“Is this some sort of dare?”

“Maybe.”

“I just don’t care to share my sexual history with a roomful of strangers,” she said. “But, fine. If you want to play, I’ll play.” She didn’t even know the rules, but she was not going to let him win. “Prepare to lose.”

“We’re on the same team,” he pointed out.

“Still…”

They ordered sandwiches and drinks with an extra large order of fries to share and then the activity leader got everyone’s attention and explained the rules.

“What you have in front of you is a typical bingo board with the letters B, I, N, G and O along the top. But you’ll notice along the left side there are numbers one through five. I’ll pull a number and a letter out of the two cages. You find the corresponding spot on the board and if you have gotten lucky in that location or that position, you put a small chip on it. If you’ve accomplished the feat while here on your honeymoon, put a big chip on it. To win, you need ten chips of any size, or five large ones.”

“Does it have to be with your current partner?” someone shouted out.

“No,” the leader replied. “it can be current or past relationships.”

“Awkward,” Jenna said. “But I suppose most of the couple here have known each other longer than you and I have. They probably already know each others’ secrets and have had a lot more, uh, opportunity for the larger chips.”  

“We’ll have to rely on individual contributions, then,” he said. “I hope your college years were…educational.”

“I’ll never tell,” she said, throwing him a saucy grin. But the truth was, her college years had been pretty dull compared to what the makers of the bingo cards had come up with. Some of those positions looked anatomically improbable, if not impossible.

“Here we go,” the leader chirped. “Honor system, everybody!”

Zach moved his chair so that he was sitting next to Jenna instead of across from her and put an arm around the back of her chair, resting it on her shoulders.

He smelled good. Like shower gel and hot, sexy man.

“B-3,” the woman called out.

“Shower,” Zach said. “Off to an excellent start.” He placed a big chip on that square.

“We didn’t actually have sex in the shower,” Jenna pointed out.

“But we would have. If the showers had been bigger. Foreplay definitely happened in there.”

“True.”

“I-2” the leader called.

It was one of the silhouettes. “There is not enough Yoga in the universe to make me that limber,” Jenna said.

“I’d be willing to give it a shot,” Zach said. “I can stand on one foot for quite a while if properly motivated.”

“O-1.”

“At the office,” Jenna read. “Negative for me. You?”

“Nope.”

Jenna smiled, relieved to know that Zach wasn’t the chase-the-secretary-around-the-desk type. But she already knew that.

The game went on, and eventually a couple near the front yelled “Bingo”.

Jenna and Zach’s card only had four chips total.

“That’s just sad,” Jenna said.

“I take it as a personal challenge,” Zach said, dumping the chips back onto the table. He folded the paper. “I’m keeping this for further review,” he said with a grin.

ABOUT BETHANY MICHAELS

Bethany Michaels is the author of over a dozen contemporary novels and novellas as well as a handful of Regency-set historicals and light paranormal romances. The first book in her Nashville country music series, Nashville Heat, was an RT Book Reviews Reviewers’ Choice Award nominee.

When not working on her next book, Bethany enjoys movies, traveling, camping, hiking, and volunteering with her kids’ scout troops. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband and four teens.

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